Hello, readers!
So I was at mandir (Hindu temple) on Sunday, and something that's stuck with me since was the interesting topic of Tolerance.
You: "But how is that even worth my time reading, Harish?"
Tolerance is a key to blissful living. You're interested in a lifestyle liberated of the shackles of conflict, right?
Let me ask You: Have you come across a point in your life where you felt like you're going under and you can't deal with it? or how about that you're a person who when you talk, you put another person's feelings down, causing pain, but are oblivious to it/enjoy it/don't understand why it is that certain people find it hard to get along with you?
I'm not asking us to accept a fly in the soup, harassment, a beating spouse or shoddy work offered by a contractor, I'm discussing our tolerance of negative situations which should realistically be beneath us, and to handle these situations in a smart way.
This particular post will look at why it's important to be tolerant, and how. If you're ignorant of this need for a person to have such embedded character, it's actually probably more useful for you, but understandable if you choose to avoid it.
Why should we be tolerant?
If we're a person who feels the walls are caving in, and are willing to give in, it's easy to do so, and this happens because our inner strength has weakened. We can no longer take it, and feel the brunt of various pressures, be it socially, professionally, spiritually etc.
If we're tolerant then we protect ourselves from falling to the levels of those who are intolerant.
Tolerance isn't facing a issue with a bigger stick. It's being able to see the person with a stick facing us, and accepting that we're in a bad situation, but the fact that they need a stick shows how much stronger we must be to them that a threat is seen. It's understanding that we have to tolerate the weakness of another.
When Gandhi took on the British occupants of India, did he rally up India and demand they take arms to drive out the British? No. He taught his listeners to stand-up to imposing forces with tolerance, and thus the British occupants feared him. There was a point in time when times were tough during his efforts from the side of the British and the riots flared by the Indians. Lets see how he dealt with it:
People see this as foolish, or weak. I disagree. It takes a weak person to launch an attack, be it physical or verbal. Why else does someone need to show an aggressive nature in order to dominate a country or a point in a conversation? Because they need to re-assure their personal strength which they themselves aren't content at the expressing of.
How can we achieve tolerance?
Ever heard the saying 'Ignorance is Bliss'? When used correctly, it is power like no other. If a person argues with us and we don't respond in a manner that will escalate the issue as they anticipate, what is their strength? I tend to straight ignore it, I let it bounce like a bullet off Superman. What more can they do? They're displaying strength that hasn't actually got usage.
It is instinctive though that when a negative instance occurs, that we take it in and let it embed itself, causing long-term grief.
I advise all who are holding on to negative issues to consider this: when we die, do we take them with us? No. So why live with it? Take it for what it is, a bad time, but we shouldn't let that bring us down. If we're holding on to it, it's so important to forgive, to forget, and more-so to move forward (3 F's that are more gold than 24 carats of it).
The deepest level of tolerance in my book is to not just forgive, forget and move forward, it is to not let it affect us in the first place. Since working on this some years ago, I find that I seldom feel low because of someone else's actions. I'm not at such a deep level, but I work towards it. And since I have - I have nothing but drive and focus in my life, as I give the important things in life due care and attention.
Not convinced though? Let me share a personal experience... Eight years back, my dad and me were on the worst terms, to a point where we'd have physical altercations as we couldn't communicate with one another as gentleman, be it my ignorance or his. As time wore on, I matured, and realised that no matter what, he's my father and if he died, I wouldn't want that to be the day I'd regret not being there for him... for all his flaws, he's a great man who provided and cared the best as any guy could in his situation. I woke up, and made the effort to not burn this bridge. It worked. We get along as good as any father/son could. Regardless, he has his moments where he feels the need to irritate and ridicule for whatever reason, and when I'm in a situation where that's the case... I tolerate. I don't kick up a fuss (that much), argue or build a barrier. I accept that he is who he is, he won't change... and so I let him get it out of his system, and I continue as if nothing's bothering me... to a point where it simply didn't. And you know what? It took a couple of years, and now he doesn't even bring up petty issues with me knowing I won't give in to his need to get a rise out of me, and it has strengthened our bond to a point where I'd LMAO at a person who'd say we could be tight 5 years back.
Tolerance works, it's a passive yet positive life-changer that if used correctly, is more effective than casting the second stone.
If you're the person causing bad instance, why do you feel the need to be confrontational? Building barriers isn't gonna help you spread your wings and soar into a blissful lifestyle, it will just make you a target no matter how strong you feel you come across.
It should also be noted that with true tolerance, it doesn't mean a person shouldn't learn to defend themselves or stand up for themselves/their beliefs when there's a true need for it. If there is, it should be done smart and/or effectively, and if so it won't aggravate, but actually fizzle out the complication.
Bruce Lee, a man notorious for on-screen confrontations, once said "take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against" We can try to tackle every issue or get brought down by ill-talks of others and forming judgements, or we can focus on ourselves and what really matters to us, and make the most of what we instinctively breathe for; to live.
Hope this makes sense, and even makes a difference!
-Harish, out
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| Click to see the bigger picture... |
You: "But how is that even worth my time reading, Harish?"
Tolerance is a key to blissful living. You're interested in a lifestyle liberated of the shackles of conflict, right?
I'm not asking us to accept a fly in the soup, harassment, a beating spouse or shoddy work offered by a contractor, I'm discussing our tolerance of negative situations which should realistically be beneath us, and to handle these situations in a smart way.
This particular post will look at why it's important to be tolerant, and how. If you're ignorant of this need for a person to have such embedded character, it's actually probably more useful for you, but understandable if you choose to avoid it.
Why should we be tolerant?
If we're a person who feels the walls are caving in, and are willing to give in, it's easy to do so, and this happens because our inner strength has weakened. We can no longer take it, and feel the brunt of various pressures, be it socially, professionally, spiritually etc.
If we're tolerant then we protect ourselves from falling to the levels of those who are intolerant.
Tolerance isn't facing a issue with a bigger stick. It's being able to see the person with a stick facing us, and accepting that we're in a bad situation, but the fact that they need a stick shows how much stronger we must be to them that a threat is seen. It's understanding that we have to tolerate the weakness of another.
 |
| ~ Gandhi |
"Gandhi employed non-cooperation, non-violence and peaceful resistance as his "weapons" in the struggle against the British Raj. In Punjab, the Jallianwala Bagh massacre of civilians by British troops (also known as the Amritsar Massacre) caused deep trauma to the nation, leading to increased public anger and acts of violence. Gandhi criticised both the actions of the British Raj and the retaliatory violence of Indians. He authored the resolution offering condolences to British civilian victims and condemning the riots which, after initial opposition in the party, was accepted following Gandhi's emotional speech advocating his principle that all violence was evil and could not be justified. But it was after the massacre and subsequent violence that Gandhi's mind focused upon obtaining complete self-government and control of all Indian government institutions, maturing soon into complete individual, spiritual, political independence." [Wikipedia]Through non-cooperation, and despite external and internal conflicts of the British Raj and Indians, his disciplined methods brought about the independence of India from British rule in 1945, something he achieved in 30 years what physical conflict couldn't in 89 years. In the same way, we must consider the opposition, and criticize our instinctive reactions if they will only ignite and take away from a better future.
People see this as foolish, or weak. I disagree. It takes a weak person to launch an attack, be it physical or verbal. Why else does someone need to show an aggressive nature in order to dominate a country or a point in a conversation? Because they need to re-assure their personal strength which they themselves aren't content at the expressing of.
How can we achieve tolerance?
Ever heard the saying 'Ignorance is Bliss'? When used correctly, it is power like no other. If a person argues with us and we don't respond in a manner that will escalate the issue as they anticipate, what is their strength? I tend to straight ignore it, I let it bounce like a bullet off Superman. What more can they do? They're displaying strength that hasn't actually got usage.
It is instinctive though that when a negative instance occurs, that we take it in and let it embed itself, causing long-term grief.
I advise all who are holding on to negative issues to consider this: when we die, do we take them with us? No. So why live with it? Take it for what it is, a bad time, but we shouldn't let that bring us down. If we're holding on to it, it's so important to forgive, to forget, and more-so to move forward (3 F's that are more gold than 24 carats of it).
The deepest level of tolerance in my book is to not just forgive, forget and move forward, it is to not let it affect us in the first place. Since working on this some years ago, I find that I seldom feel low because of someone else's actions. I'm not at such a deep level, but I work towards it. And since I have - I have nothing but drive and focus in my life, as I give the important things in life due care and attention.
Not convinced though? Let me share a personal experience... Eight years back, my dad and me were on the worst terms, to a point where we'd have physical altercations as we couldn't communicate with one another as gentleman, be it my ignorance or his. As time wore on, I matured, and realised that no matter what, he's my father and if he died, I wouldn't want that to be the day I'd regret not being there for him... for all his flaws, he's a great man who provided and cared the best as any guy could in his situation. I woke up, and made the effort to not burn this bridge. It worked. We get along as good as any father/son could. Regardless, he has his moments where he feels the need to irritate and ridicule for whatever reason, and when I'm in a situation where that's the case... I tolerate. I don't kick up a fuss (that much), argue or build a barrier. I accept that he is who he is, he won't change... and so I let him get it out of his system, and I continue as if nothing's bothering me... to a point where it simply didn't. And you know what? It took a couple of years, and now he doesn't even bring up petty issues with me knowing I won't give in to his need to get a rise out of me, and it has strengthened our bond to a point where I'd LMAO at a person who'd say we could be tight 5 years back.
Tolerance works, it's a passive yet positive life-changer that if used correctly, is more effective than casting the second stone.
If you're the person causing bad instance, why do you feel the need to be confrontational? Building barriers isn't gonna help you spread your wings and soar into a blissful lifestyle, it will just make you a target no matter how strong you feel you come across.
It should also be noted that with true tolerance, it doesn't mean a person shouldn't learn to defend themselves or stand up for themselves/their beliefs when there's a true need for it. If there is, it should be done smart and/or effectively, and if so it won't aggravate, but actually fizzle out the complication.
 |
| Bruce Lee |
Bruce Lee, a man notorious for on-screen confrontations, once said "take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against" We can try to tackle every issue or get brought down by ill-talks of others and forming judgements, or we can focus on ourselves and what really matters to us, and make the most of what we instinctively breathe for; to live.
Hope this makes sense, and even makes a difference!
-Harish, out
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