Hey reader,
So I put forward to my ex-gf to not contact me, even if I contact her. We had been in on and off contact since last year when she dumped me. I thought I could maintain a bond afterwards as she stated she wanted us to be friends and prior to the break-up I had made her the centre of my friends circle... so I tried, but I found it hard.
It's weird to some (particularly when a grey area of a bond hits), but I think it's healthy. Sometimes we cling on to people because they have been a huge part of a persons life. This was a complicated situation to me as their were many aspects that confused me and bothered me enough to feel the need to let it go, no matter how hard I have tried to overlook issues and move forward. I think we need to realise that because people have been close, it doesn't mean we should force a relationship out of it. I mean, I won't be doing that with people that were my best friends when I was 10.
There are many different types of relationships, ones you have with family, friends, that special someone, job, day-today ones (hair dresser, guy at the newsagent, etc) and more, and to me it's important to understand which are important/vital, and to evaluate them too.
I think it's necessary to cut people off in life though. I don't respect people who who fake friendships and just talk about one another behind their backs. It just doesn't make sense. Personally, if I don't get on with someone, I just don't pretend to have a bond or use them.
I think people also forget to distinguish between personal and professional relationships. It's not to say I won't socialise or work with/contract someone because their character and/or personality doesn't mesh with mine, it's business. It's a required need to progress and create a mutually better financial outcome. However, if it's someone's business ethics I don't like, the way they work, then I couldn't work on that level. Do you guys see the difference?
When it comes to having a personal life, socially I cannot keep contact with people I don't get on with as it takes away from the fact that I'm trying to make the most of my life and there is a thorn in my side stopping me. My instinct won't be to moan about it, but rather remove it and move on. Why should I waste energy and time talking on someone when I can be using that time and energy living my life?
There are people who believe in keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer... Interesting situation. Why do it? I don't have the answer, and personally I think it's a dangerous game because if it's your enemy, then surely there's a game plan on both sides - so who wins? Tell me your thoughts on that, people.
This post isn't saying we should cut people off that we're not close too though. From experience, it's important to balance relationships and have friends close and distant. I won't cut someone off if I hadn't spoken to them in 5 years, I keep a bridge there but it's just a dusty, unused connection.However, if the bridge is one way, or filled with nasty pot holes or is straight up falling apart with no way to fix it, I feel the mature thing is to shut it down and move on.
-Harish, out
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| Relationships and Bridges |
It's weird to some (particularly when a grey area of a bond hits), but I think it's healthy. Sometimes we cling on to people because they have been a huge part of a persons life. This was a complicated situation to me as their were many aspects that confused me and bothered me enough to feel the need to let it go, no matter how hard I have tried to overlook issues and move forward. I think we need to realise that because people have been close, it doesn't mean we should force a relationship out of it. I mean, I won't be doing that with people that were my best friends when I was 10.
There are many different types of relationships, ones you have with family, friends, that special someone, job, day-today ones (hair dresser, guy at the newsagent, etc) and more, and to me it's important to understand which are important/vital, and to evaluate them too.
I think it's necessary to cut people off in life though. I don't respect people who who fake friendships and just talk about one another behind their backs. It just doesn't make sense. Personally, if I don't get on with someone, I just don't pretend to have a bond or use them.
I think people also forget to distinguish between personal and professional relationships. It's not to say I won't socialise or work with/contract someone because their character and/or personality doesn't mesh with mine, it's business. It's a required need to progress and create a mutually better financial outcome. However, if it's someone's business ethics I don't like, the way they work, then I couldn't work on that level. Do you guys see the difference?
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| I don't mean the book... |
There are people who believe in keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer... Interesting situation. Why do it? I don't have the answer, and personally I think it's a dangerous game because if it's your enemy, then surely there's a game plan on both sides - so who wins? Tell me your thoughts on that, people.
This post isn't saying we should cut people off that we're not close too though. From experience, it's important to balance relationships and have friends close and distant. I won't cut someone off if I hadn't spoken to them in 5 years, I keep a bridge there but it's just a dusty, unused connection.However, if the bridge is one way, or filled with nasty pot holes or is straight up falling apart with no way to fix it, I feel the mature thing is to shut it down and move on.
-Harish, out
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